The Uneasy Liberal A Pig Wallowing in Filth

Having been thoroughly disturbed by the prior week’s columnist, I have asked for, and received, permission to bring you coverage of the weeks events. Per usual, area events are utterly vapid, lacking in cultural guts -- no sex, no nothing. Sigh. I try so hard to pry open the minds of those who, like clams, have tightly sealed themselves off in their own world of morality and conscience. This week’s Friday is a busy one.

At 4 p.m., Les Jaques des Chimes shall engage the Faculty Fumblers in a wantonly destructive game of football on the East Soccer Field. While I feel it is unnecessary for the educated members of this society to beat the hell out of each other, it should be funny.

Christian singer Sarah Masen will be playing in the FAC tonight at 8. Her songs are a bit too concerned with religion for my liking, and they lack a powerful, thumping sex beat, but I for one would never want to intrude upon your inherant right to free speech. If you can’t stomach the purity and virtue of Masen, then have the high moral conscience to attend a benefit concert supporting solidarity with Chiapas, Mexico at 8:30 at the Weston Theatre for $5.

Saturday night, “The Scent of Green Papaya” plays in the Commons Lecture Hall at 8:03. I haven’t had the chance to preview this flick for proper standards of political correctness, so I must warn you to view at your own risk, as, for all I know, you may be exposing yourself to more propaganda and venomous diatribe spewing forth from the guttermouth of the white male patriarchal hegemony. Also, don’t forget that Saturday is Student Senate Secretary C.J. Albertie’s b-day -- give her a big, wet liberal smooch if you see her. Also in the vein of political events, Canadian- rights advocates have recently informed me that the new Canadian bod-books are in. Get them now before facist governmental oppressors confiscate all copies! Finally, take a moment on Monday to remember the anniversary of the end of the American Revolution. Remember the rebellion that brought us freedom and let the thought of it spurn you on to vociferate vehemently on our present need for an all-consuming welfare state! Calvin Students of West Michigan unite! We have nothing to lose but our financial independence!